I’m sorry. I went away for a while there. I left you alone.
Where have I been? Well, mostly realising that the whole “Season affected depression” thing I always suspected I had is 100% a thing. So, four months of the year have just been spent in a box of misery, which is nice.
In those four, endless, stupid months, I thought I’d do anything but play music. I thought I’d go back to uni, I thought I’d get a real job, I thought I’d do lots and lots and lots of things that weren’t the thing that I enjoy most……
I did a lot of reading, I did a lot of learning.
I realised that I am feral, that I am not built to be tethered, that I am designed to be my own boss and that all of my worries are based around the idea that I do not think I am good enough to deserve the life I want to live. That what we have jokingly called “the wiggles” for that unending desire to leave and explore, to not feel trapped in tiny towns for so many years is an actual part of my DNA that I cannot beat, that I cannot evolve out of, that I have to embrace and try to build a life around.
And then the sun came out. And I decided to make a new record, I started tentatively writing new songs.
The new songs and I are slowly sidling up to each other and hoping something magical might appear if we don’t look each other in the eye too hard, lest we scare each other off.
I decided to head back out on tour with my dearest friend Tom and his Lions and Wolves.
I decided that my last record was lovely, but I was in a period of my life where things were not good, so I did not get to enjoy almost any part of the process. I waited so long and then rushed it. I fumbled the play.
I decided that this time I would enjoy the entire process and feel no pressure in making it. (Apart from finding the money, which I will find in due time).
I’m not sure what it’s going to be called yet, but it will be named. It deserves to be named.
There will be songs on it about running away to sea, about The Heron and what it stands for, and one song I’m super excited to share with you all which is an open letter/apology to my girlfriend in advance – because we all know I’m going to screw up real bad one day – you can all borrow that one if you so wish.
I decided that this time is it, one more year around the sun, one more year of trying hard, one more year I hope you join me. I promise to stay in touch more. I promise that I’ll enjoy myself more, and by proxy, I hope you will too.
I will be coming to your town. Please inform any and all promoters about this as a possibility.
I’m sorry I don’t have new songs for you right now, but I thought I might give you some songs that other people made that have lit the fire under my butt to make a new record.
Oh, and I bought a super sweet new jacket.
My dear friend. I’ve missed you so.